Greetings to you all,
I am thankful that things have calmed down a bit so I can get back to spending time with you, our parents. You have the most wonderful challenging job in the world. I have enjoyed every minute of being a parent. It was what I wanted to be when I grew up. Of course, there have been those moments when I wished I had a magic wand. Trials and troubles come with the wonderful memories and countless hours of laughter and enjoyment. I have had police at my door, cell phones in the toilet, keys lost at the bottom of toy boxes, fist fights between siblings in my living room, countless morning battles to get the kids to church and school, last minute notice of school projects, lies, disrespect, angry outbursts, extreme emotional fallout from the divorce, poverty, words said in haste and anger that you wish you could take back, rejection from extended family, and much more.
Looking back I can see God's divine providence in even the hardest of experiences. All I ever wanted was a loving, Christ-centered marriage and children that grew to love and depend completely on God. I have not gotten all I have prayed for as of yet. I continue to pray in faith that the answer is 'wait' and not 'no'. However, God is the orchestrator of all good. I cannot see all the good that He plans with His perfect timing. I hold to John 6:44. "No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him." I have two of my 4 children who have not embraced a relationship with God. My heart aches for them to know Him.
I share this with you in hopes that you know I understand what challenges you face. There is much I have been through that is written in silence between the lines. A lifetime of issues, emotions, and trials that qualify me to at least understand what you are going through. I really do believe we are all here to help one another. If any of you need someone to talk with, I am here. As a family of God, we are called to come along side one another. I praise God that so many of you have close Christian friends that you can turn to when you need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. If you don't have someone or for whatever reason want to keep your problems private, I am able to be that outlet for you. No matter who you turn too, don't go through your challenges alone. There is always someone who cares and wants to help.
May God bless you all through the hardest, greatest, best adventure you'll ever be on, Parenting.
In His Service,
Brenda
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
A time to teach generosity
This tip comes from the National Center for Biblical Parenting. To sign up for the daily parenting tips, click on my link in the bottom right side of this page.
Christmas, A Time to Teach Generosity
Christmas is a highlight in the life of most children, but much of the benefit is focused on what they get. Of course one of the blessings of Christmas is giving, so look for ways to teach children generosity this year. Here are some ideas:
Involves kids in your gift giving strategy or help them develop their own. Planning, shopping, and wrapping can each provide ways for children to think about blessing others.
Anticipate with your children the delight others will experience when the gifts are opened. Help your child enjoy the fun others will have when receiving gifts.
Ask children the question: "What are you doing this year to make Christmas special for others?" This question alone can help teens think of others instead of just themselves. A short discussion can help move kids from selfish tendencies to generosity.
And most importantly, remind children of the generosity of God by sending us a special gift in his Son.
For more ideas on addressing heart issues in your kids, consider the book, Parenting is Heart Work by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.
Christmas, A Time to Teach Generosity
Christmas is a highlight in the life of most children, but much of the benefit is focused on what they get. Of course one of the blessings of Christmas is giving, so look for ways to teach children generosity this year. Here are some ideas:
Involves kids in your gift giving strategy or help them develop their own. Planning, shopping, and wrapping can each provide ways for children to think about blessing others.
Anticipate with your children the delight others will experience when the gifts are opened. Help your child enjoy the fun others will have when receiving gifts.
Ask children the question: "What are you doing this year to make Christmas special for others?" This question alone can help teens think of others instead of just themselves. A short discussion can help move kids from selfish tendencies to generosity.
And most importantly, remind children of the generosity of God by sending us a special gift in his Son.
For more ideas on addressing heart issues in your kids, consider the book, Parenting is Heart Work by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Peace be Yours -Contentment
Peace be Yours - Contentment
When we are truly content we are at peace. For those who have found contentment in God, this peace is sweet. We rest in knowing that God has all things well in hand. We enjoy not having to have all the answers. But what about our children? How do they feel? What is their perception of this truth? We so very much want to inject them with truth. Wouldn't it be nice if their was a Bible IV? We could just hook them up each day and have the Holy Spirit flowing through their veins all day. Alas, it isn't that simple. However, the journey, or dare I say, the struggle is part of the learning process. It is what makes those AHA moments so dear. The following is just a few suggestions on how to continue to train your children to find contentment some from me and some from "Raising Spiritual Champions Newsletter".
"I trust in you , O Lord; I say 'You are my God. My life is in your hands. Psalm 31:14-15a
Read these verses with your child. Talk about the attitude the writer has about his life. What makes the writer comfortable with his situation? Ask how comfortable your child feels about their life? Let this conversation open up to a wonderful teachable moment.
Kids who are comfortable with themselves know they are loved and wanted. Help them develop a sense of contentment in natural ways.
Appreciate your kids for who they are and what they do. Tell them you like them. Keep a journal of the positive things they do, their qualities and strengths. Write down the positive comments their teachers and others say about them. Read through the book occasionally to help your kids see themselves from various perspectives.
Help them develop the habit of complimenting others on what they are good at too.
Bless you all. Fight the good fight.
Brenda
When we are truly content we are at peace. For those who have found contentment in God, this peace is sweet. We rest in knowing that God has all things well in hand. We enjoy not having to have all the answers. But what about our children? How do they feel? What is their perception of this truth? We so very much want to inject them with truth. Wouldn't it be nice if their was a Bible IV? We could just hook them up each day and have the Holy Spirit flowing through their veins all day. Alas, it isn't that simple. However, the journey, or dare I say, the struggle is part of the learning process. It is what makes those AHA moments so dear. The following is just a few suggestions on how to continue to train your children to find contentment some from me and some from "Raising Spiritual Champions Newsletter".
"I trust in you , O Lord; I say 'You are my God. My life is in your hands. Psalm 31:14-15a
Read these verses with your child. Talk about the attitude the writer has about his life. What makes the writer comfortable with his situation? Ask how comfortable your child feels about their life? Let this conversation open up to a wonderful teachable moment.
Kids who are comfortable with themselves know they are loved and wanted. Help them develop a sense of contentment in natural ways.
Appreciate your kids for who they are and what they do. Tell them you like them. Keep a journal of the positive things they do, their qualities and strengths. Write down the positive comments their teachers and others say about them. Read through the book occasionally to help your kids see themselves from various perspectives.
Repeat important sayings and verses that build confidence and courage. Believe me, your words to them will pop up in their heads when a choice needs to be made and you're not around. My children have told me many times that when they needed to make a decision, they could hear my advise in their head. They didn't always do what they should have, but when things fell apart it only solidified the wisdom that they should have followed.
Send your kids off each day with a prayer or blessing. Let them know they can handle whatever comes. Your confidence in them can carry them through when they aren't feeling so sure of themselves.Help them develop the habit of complimenting others on what they are good at too.
Bless you all. Fight the good fight.
Brenda
Monday, December 14, 2009
Plan to be Content
Reaching contentment,
Reaching contentment in our day and age is a challenge, especially for our children. They are bombarded with media that tells them they should get what they want and fast. How do we bring them through the brainwashing to an understanding of the truth in Philippians 4:11-13?
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
First and foremost you must model it. That is not to say you won't slip up from time to time, but find the truth in these verses and try to own them for yourself. Kids today see right through the old saying, "Do as I say not as I do".
Next help them through each disappointment with a fresh view point. Help them reflect on any other experience they had that was frustrating or disappointing and how something good came out of it that they couldn't see at the time. Perhaps a move to a new home was hard for the friends that were left, but the new friends are just as wonderful.
Help them keep a prayer journal. Let them pray and write their disappointments and frustrations to God. He can handle it. God wants us to bring all of ourselves to Him. As you keep track in a journal, look back from time to time on past prayers and laments and see if you can find a silver lining or lesson learned from that experience that you can point out to them. Don't forget to add praises to your journal. It is very important for your child to be able to see the inner workings of the Holy Spirit in their lives.
Help your child learn the difference between what they need and what they want. God promises to give us what we need. Everything else is icing on the cake and not a necessity. Help them realize how much they have that doesn't fall under the need category. Help them to be thankful for the many blessings instead of focusing on what they don't /can't have.
Sometimes it is helpful to show them how people live with less and how blessed they are. Take them to visit a shelter or show them how others live in 3rd world countries by going on the Internet. Name something in the room and let your kids tell how life would be different if the item didn't exist or hadn't been invented. Help them realize that having it is a blessing from God.
These are just a few starter ideas. This is a journey that is counter cultural. It won't be easy, but your child will be vastly more happy if they learn to be content.
Blessings to you all
Brenda
Reaching contentment in our day and age is a challenge, especially for our children. They are bombarded with media that tells them they should get what they want and fast. How do we bring them through the brainwashing to an understanding of the truth in Philippians 4:11-13?
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
First and foremost you must model it. That is not to say you won't slip up from time to time, but find the truth in these verses and try to own them for yourself. Kids today see right through the old saying, "Do as I say not as I do".
Next help them through each disappointment with a fresh view point. Help them reflect on any other experience they had that was frustrating or disappointing and how something good came out of it that they couldn't see at the time. Perhaps a move to a new home was hard for the friends that were left, but the new friends are just as wonderful.
Help them keep a prayer journal. Let them pray and write their disappointments and frustrations to God. He can handle it. God wants us to bring all of ourselves to Him. As you keep track in a journal, look back from time to time on past prayers and laments and see if you can find a silver lining or lesson learned from that experience that you can point out to them. Don't forget to add praises to your journal. It is very important for your child to be able to see the inner workings of the Holy Spirit in their lives.
Help your child learn the difference between what they need and what they want. God promises to give us what we need. Everything else is icing on the cake and not a necessity. Help them realize how much they have that doesn't fall under the need category. Help them to be thankful for the many blessings instead of focusing on what they don't /can't have.
Sometimes it is helpful to show them how people live with less and how blessed they are. Take them to visit a shelter or show them how others live in 3rd world countries by going on the Internet. Name something in the room and let your kids tell how life would be different if the item didn't exist or hadn't been invented. Help them realize that having it is a blessing from God.
These are just a few starter ideas. This is a journey that is counter cultural. It won't be easy, but your child will be vastly more happy if they learn to be content.
Blessings to you all
Brenda
Monday, December 7, 2009
Simple and bite size
Have you ever noticed that God has arranged most of His wisdom in a cause and effect manner. This makes things very simple to understand. For instance:
James 2:13 - Someone who shows No mercy >> receives judgement without mercy.
The next time you read a passage, look for simple, bite-size nuggets. While training your children to read the Bible, it is helpful to break things down as simply as possible. Have a contest one day to see how many cause >>affect phrase you can find. Write them out on cards and place a few around to talk about throughout the week.
Let's try it together to get the hang of it.
James 1:3-4 Trials > Patience > Perfect and complete
James 1:5 Ask for wisdom in faith > God gives liberally
James 1:6-7 Ask for wisdom with doubt > Should not expect to receive anything from God
James 1:12 Endure temptation > receive the crown of life
James 1:15 Follow desires > sin > death
James 1:17 God > good gifts > us
You get the point. Imagine any one of these being a launching point for family discussions. Help your child find examples around them of these being true.
Your children are growing up in a post modern world. They will be taught by the world that there is no absolute truth. That each person finds what is true for them. That even that truth can change when we want it to. Help your children from an early age understand and see the absolute truth of the Word of God.
This is a spiritual battle. Fight the good fight.
Blessings
Brenda
James 2:13 - Someone who shows No mercy >> receives judgement without mercy.
The next time you read a passage, look for simple, bite-size nuggets. While training your children to read the Bible, it is helpful to break things down as simply as possible. Have a contest one day to see how many cause >>affect phrase you can find. Write them out on cards and place a few around to talk about throughout the week.
Let's try it together to get the hang of it.
James 1:3-4 Trials > Patience > Perfect and complete
James 1:5 Ask for wisdom in faith > God gives liberally
James 1:6-7 Ask for wisdom with doubt > Should not expect to receive anything from God
James 1:12 Endure temptation > receive the crown of life
James 1:15 Follow desires > sin > death
James 1:17 God > good gifts > us
You get the point. Imagine any one of these being a launching point for family discussions. Help your child find examples around them of these being true.
Your children are growing up in a post modern world. They will be taught by the world that there is no absolute truth. That each person finds what is true for them. That even that truth can change when we want it to. Help your children from an early age understand and see the absolute truth of the Word of God.
This is a spiritual battle. Fight the good fight.
Blessings
Brenda
Thursday, December 3, 2009
READY, SET, BE CONTENT!
Is it possible to be content when things aren't going as we had planned? How do we teach our children to embrace contentment?
Start by helping them think through the idea. Ask some questions to get them thinking. Such as:
*What was a time you tried something that didn't work out like you wanted it to?
*How do you usually feel when things don't work out as you'd like?
*What was a time you were disappointed with something but then everything turned out okay in the end?
*What kinds of things can make you discontent?
Then help your children follow some guidelines: such as...
*Don't compare your circumstances or life to other people's.
*Give thanks in all circumstances. (This is a hard one for kids as they are literal creatures.) Help your children acknowledge that God loves them and only wants good for them. Help them think through any examples from their or your lives that looked bad initially, but good can be seen now. Remind them that God is faithful and we are just to trust Him.
*Life is made up of good and bad experiences and circumstances. You choose to dwell on the positive or the negative. Help your child stay focused on the positive. (Phil 4:8 is a good one to read them)
*Remember that you can make it through whatever comes your way with God's help. (Read them Phil 4:13) Remind them that they are not alone. That God is always with them and gives them strength and peace.
Whatever you do, please don't assume that something that seems insignificant to you isn't extremely significant to them. Take each of their concerns to heart and help them through it.
Start training your little one to look back at the day and recall all the good things God provided to them because He loves them. (Warm sun, cool bug, mommy's hug, cereal from the store, etc) Train them to focus on the good and positive from the beginning.
May you meditate today on all the blessings and wonder of God.
Brenda
Start by helping them think through the idea. Ask some questions to get them thinking. Such as:
*What was a time you tried something that didn't work out like you wanted it to?
*How do you usually feel when things don't work out as you'd like?
*What was a time you were disappointed with something but then everything turned out okay in the end?
*What kinds of things can make you discontent?
Then help your children follow some guidelines: such as...
*Don't compare your circumstances or life to other people's.
*Give thanks in all circumstances. (This is a hard one for kids as they are literal creatures.) Help your children acknowledge that God loves them and only wants good for them. Help them think through any examples from their or your lives that looked bad initially, but good can be seen now. Remind them that God is faithful and we are just to trust Him.
*Life is made up of good and bad experiences and circumstances. You choose to dwell on the positive or the negative. Help your child stay focused on the positive. (Phil 4:8 is a good one to read them)
*Remember that you can make it through whatever comes your way with God's help. (Read them Phil 4:13) Remind them that they are not alone. That God is always with them and gives them strength and peace.
Whatever you do, please don't assume that something that seems insignificant to you isn't extremely significant to them. Take each of their concerns to heart and help them through it.
Start training your little one to look back at the day and recall all the good things God provided to them because He loves them. (Warm sun, cool bug, mommy's hug, cereal from the store, etc) Train them to focus on the good and positive from the beginning.
May you meditate today on all the blessings and wonder of God.
Brenda
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Get an Attitude: Teaching Gratefullness
Kids who are appreciative stand out. These are usually kids who have been guided from very young to be grateful. Even toddlers can say something that means "thank you" when they receive a cookie or a cup of juice. No matter how old your kids are now, it's not too late to help them develop a more grateful attitude. Here's how you can encourage it.
Be grateful yourself. Sincerely thank your kids and others when it's appropriate.
Go around the table before a meal, and give a prayer of thanksgiving with each person finishing this prayer starter: "Thanks, God for..."
Sing thanks with your family, if you enjoy music. Sing songs you know, play worship CDs or DVDs and sing with them, or make up songs of your own.
Read together in Luke 17:11-19 the story of the ten men who were healed by Jesus and only one returned to thank Him. Talk about the point Jesus made in this story. What do you think happened to the other nine?
1 Thessalonians 5:18 "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" What can you thank God for in your present circumstances? Talk about why God wants us to do this.
Take any opportunity to point out the beauty and majesty of God's creation and to be thankful for it.
For fun learn to say thank you in different languages. Here are some to get you started. Spanish: gracias (GRAH-see-us); French: merci (mare-SEE); Chinese: Xiexie (shay-shay); Italian: grazie (GRAH-tsee-yeh); Japanese: arigato (ah-ree-GAT-o).
Blessings to you all
Brenda
Be grateful yourself. Sincerely thank your kids and others when it's appropriate.
Go around the table before a meal, and give a prayer of thanksgiving with each person finishing this prayer starter: "Thanks, God for..."
Sing thanks with your family, if you enjoy music. Sing songs you know, play worship CDs or DVDs and sing with them, or make up songs of your own.
Read together in Luke 17:11-19 the story of the ten men who were healed by Jesus and only one returned to thank Him. Talk about the point Jesus made in this story. What do you think happened to the other nine?
1 Thessalonians 5:18 "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" What can you thank God for in your present circumstances? Talk about why God wants us to do this.
Take any opportunity to point out the beauty and majesty of God's creation and to be thankful for it.
For fun learn to say thank you in different languages. Here are some to get you started. Spanish: gracias (GRAH-see-us); French: merci (mare-SEE); Chinese: Xiexie (shay-shay); Italian: grazie (GRAH-tsee-yeh); Japanese: arigato (ah-ree-GAT-o).
Blessings to you all
Brenda
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