I must confess that I have been so busy with other tasks that I have cheated and shared with you wisdom from parenting tips that come to me. I'm sure you don't mind. May you find this helpful.
Brenda
When Children Resist Instructions
When a child continually demonstrates resistance to instructions, then it's time to decide whether you need to emphasize relationship more or you need to discipline for a lack of responsiveness.
Sometimes we take our children for granted, order them around, and don't appreciate them enough. The result is children who tend to resist instructions. If that's the case in your family then it's time to show more love and emphasize the value of your relationships together.
On the other hand, some children resist instructions because of poor character. Training is work and some children need to learn how to demonstrate genuine responsiveness when someone wants to talk with them. If you ask your son to come help in the kitchen, and before you finish your instruction he's whining and complaining, then stop the process. You may have to postpone discipline for a time because you need to get the table set in order to stay on schedule, but don't just let it go.
After dinner, talk to your son and confront him about his poor attitude. Explain the importance of cooperation and that you're going to have him help you with dinner every evening for a while. Increasing the workload to give more opportunity to practice may be just the constructive consequence needed to build a cooperative attitude.
Kids want life to be easy. The reality is that life is hard. Cooperation is an essential character quality all children need and now’s the time to teach it.
For more on how to build a good Instruction Routine with your children, consider the Parenting is Heart Work Training Manuals and CDs. Lesson One outlines a five step Instruction Routine and helps you know how to teach it
Showing posts with label instruction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label instruction. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Getting a Response
Get a Response
Parents give instructions many times a day. The difference between a drill sergeant and a parent has to do with relationship. The way you give an instruction helps a lot. In fact, a little forethought can head off resistance before it starts.
In addition, we encourage parents to teach children to respond with, "Okay Mom," or "Okay Dad." This answer reveals three things. First, it shows that the child has heard what you said. How many times have you gone back to check up on an assignment only to hear the child say, "But I didn't hear you"? Some parents even teach their children to repeat the instruction back by saying, "I will…" and then fill in the blank. This helps clarify the instruction for both parent and child.
The second benefit of an answer is that it teaches the child to communicate the intent to follow through. One dad said, "I like it when my son says, 'Okay Dad,' because it shows me that he's going to do what I asked."
The third benefit of a response is that you can hear what kind of attitude your child has. If it's one of those, "Okaaay Mommm!" responses then you know that your child has an attitude problem. The response reveals some important things about a child's heart. Silence can mean too many things. A child may comply, while harboring anger, rebellion, resentment, or defiance.
Teaching children to answer after an instruction gives you a window into their hearts to see if they're responding well to the instruction. If not, a parent has the opportunity to help make some adjustments.
This tip was taken from the book, Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.
Brenda
Parents give instructions many times a day. The difference between a drill sergeant and a parent has to do with relationship. The way you give an instruction helps a lot. In fact, a little forethought can head off resistance before it starts.
In addition, we encourage parents to teach children to respond with, "Okay Mom," or "Okay Dad." This answer reveals three things. First, it shows that the child has heard what you said. How many times have you gone back to check up on an assignment only to hear the child say, "But I didn't hear you"? Some parents even teach their children to repeat the instruction back by saying, "I will…" and then fill in the blank. This helps clarify the instruction for both parent and child.
The second benefit of an answer is that it teaches the child to communicate the intent to follow through. One dad said, "I like it when my son says, 'Okay Dad,' because it shows me that he's going to do what I asked."
The third benefit of a response is that you can hear what kind of attitude your child has. If it's one of those, "Okaaay Mommm!" responses then you know that your child has an attitude problem. The response reveals some important things about a child's heart. Silence can mean too many things. A child may comply, while harboring anger, rebellion, resentment, or defiance.
Teaching children to answer after an instruction gives you a window into their hearts to see if they're responding well to the instruction. If not, a parent has the opportunity to help make some adjustments.
This tip was taken from the book, Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.
Brenda
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