On this day in 1952, in the Peanuts comic strip, Lucy first held a football for Charlie Brown. We all know how that story ends. Lucy tells Charlie Brown to trust her that she will hold the ball while he kicks it. Everytime he does and everytime she moves the ball. She never kept her promise.
There is severe foundational fallout when we break our word to our children. If you declare a consequence that you do not follow through on or make a promise you do not keep, you are laying the groundwork for them to have future disregard for God's promises and consequences. Consider how key believing in God's promises is to your peace and faith. How often do you not do something for fear of God's chastisement? Fear of consequences is what keeps our society civil. Without it there is a disregard for authority and a dismissal of personal responsibility for behavior.
We have to be careful that as parents we don't fall into the trap of making idle threats. In Numbers 30:2 we are warned that we must follow through with our words. Think before your speak out against a behavior. (Prov 29:20) Think about 2 things: Can I follow through with the consequence, and is the consequence proportional to the bad behavior. Natural logical consequences are also more educational than arbitrary ones. For instance, if incesant TV watching is preventing a child from getting their homework or chores done then logically no TV is the consequence, instead of no dessert for a week. Both could be productive, but one is more logically linked to the problem than the other.
The same holds true for making a promise. Don't promise something to appease your child in the moment that you are not prepared to follow through on. We mustn't train our children to disregard our words. This later becomes the foundation of distrust for God's promises and consequences.
Saying what we mean is basically teaching our children that what we say should be trustworthy. People should be able to count on our word. The first thought out of them should be, "If she said she will do it I can count on it." Modeling being an honorable person that keeps your word/promises is the first step to teaching your child that important value.
While going through the week, listen to your children as they interact with you and others. Look for opportunities to correct them if they are promising something they can't keep. While following through with any promise or consequence, be sure to remind them of the importance of being trustworthy, that they will always be able to count on you to do what you say and tell them the truth.
Brenda
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
Jesus the ultimate security blanket
Today is Hug a Teddy Bear Day. Most of us had them growing up, some eqivelant of the 'blankie', 'bunny' or tattered 'bear, bear' (my granddaughter's). They brought us a sense of security and comfort when needed.
We all have those moments in our lives when we need to feel secure. We need to know that someone is with us when we feel all alone; that someone is there to comfort us when we are frightened or anxious about facing something new. We want someone there to comfort us when we are feeling down.
The good news is that we have someone like that in our lives 24-7. Remind your children, and yourself, that Jesus is there whenever we need him, wherever we are, in whatever situation we find ourselves. Matthew 28:20 is so reassuring to us all. "Be sure of this, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."
He is the best security blanket ever.
We all have those moments in our lives when we need to feel secure. We need to know that someone is with us when we feel all alone; that someone is there to comfort us when we are frightened or anxious about facing something new. We want someone there to comfort us when we are feeling down.
The good news is that we have someone like that in our lives 24-7. Remind your children, and yourself, that Jesus is there whenever we need him, wherever we are, in whatever situation we find ourselves. Matthew 28:20 is so reassuring to us all. "Be sure of this, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."
He is the best security blanket ever.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Dictator to Diplomat....Which do you have?
Do you have a child that tries to control you, their brothers and sisters, friends, and even strangers? You propably have a future leader on your hands. This will be an asset to them later but raising a budding leader can be a real challenge.
Your budding leader must learn to be able to follow. They have to learn to listen to the desires and needs of others, work cooperatively as a team, submit when it is called for, and to follow other people's agendas sometimes.
Think about the leaders in your life. (bosses for instance) Do you want an unyeilding dictator or do you appreciate those in charge who listen to your view and value your input before making the decisions that need to be made. Your little leader isn't going to naturally become diplomatic. You have to help them along.
If your young leader is showing signs of being argumentative, demanding, or angry, don't just ignore it. Take time to address these weaknesses. You want to appreciate your child's gifts, but recognize that with those gifts they have the responsibility to use them wisely and fairly.
In my house I had 4 children and, unfortunately for me, they were all young budding leaders. As a single mom, not only was I outnumbered 4 to 1, but I was constantly at battle to be the one who was actually in charge. Debate was a well oiled machine around our home. Everyone could speak up.
Important TIP! If I could give you one pearl of wisdom from all that I endured on this subject it would be this... Expect obedience 1st and discuss 2nd! In our home we would talk things into the ground. Sometimes they would be convincing and a compromise would be struck, sometimes I just demanded they obey. However, the time it would take to get to obedience would be unnecessarily long. Repeat after me. "Obey 1st and then we will talk about it."
My 4 still each turned into self starting go-getters, but in different degrees have struggled with respect for authority. Oh to rewind the clock...
Anyway, little leaders will offer you some added challenges but raised properly they can become a powerful force for our Lord. If you are interested in diving into this subject deeper, I recommend you check out this sight. I went to a conference workshop with the creator of this website and curriculum and found it very helpful.
http://kidlead.com/default.aspx
Pray each day that God will give you the strength and wisdom you need to stand toe to toe with your little dictator, um I mean budding leader, and help the Lord mold him or her into the man or woman He will use for great things.
You can survive! Hang in there.
Brenda
Your budding leader must learn to be able to follow. They have to learn to listen to the desires and needs of others, work cooperatively as a team, submit when it is called for, and to follow other people's agendas sometimes.
Think about the leaders in your life. (bosses for instance) Do you want an unyeilding dictator or do you appreciate those in charge who listen to your view and value your input before making the decisions that need to be made. Your little leader isn't going to naturally become diplomatic. You have to help them along.
If your young leader is showing signs of being argumentative, demanding, or angry, don't just ignore it. Take time to address these weaknesses. You want to appreciate your child's gifts, but recognize that with those gifts they have the responsibility to use them wisely and fairly.
In my house I had 4 children and, unfortunately for me, they were all young budding leaders. As a single mom, not only was I outnumbered 4 to 1, but I was constantly at battle to be the one who was actually in charge. Debate was a well oiled machine around our home. Everyone could speak up.
Important TIP! If I could give you one pearl of wisdom from all that I endured on this subject it would be this... Expect obedience 1st and discuss 2nd! In our home we would talk things into the ground. Sometimes they would be convincing and a compromise would be struck, sometimes I just demanded they obey. However, the time it would take to get to obedience would be unnecessarily long. Repeat after me. "Obey 1st and then we will talk about it."
My 4 still each turned into self starting go-getters, but in different degrees have struggled with respect for authority. Oh to rewind the clock...
Anyway, little leaders will offer you some added challenges but raised properly they can become a powerful force for our Lord. If you are interested in diving into this subject deeper, I recommend you check out this sight. I went to a conference workshop with the creator of this website and curriculum and found it very helpful.
http://kidlead.com/default.aspx
Pray each day that God will give you the strength and wisdom you need to stand toe to toe with your little dictator, um I mean budding leader, and help the Lord mold him or her into the man or woman He will use for great things.
You can survive! Hang in there.
Brenda
Thursday, September 8, 2011
And the winner is....
Yesterday was the anniversary of the 1st Miss America Beauty contest. (Started in 1921) In the beginning the goal was to represent the highest ideals, a combination of beauty, grace, intelligence, talented and civic minded. Through the years many of the winners did go on to champion causes successfully using their title to be heard, but at what price?
Our girls (and guys) today are overwhelmed by body image issues. How unfortunate that as a flegling Christian nation we didn't focus, early on, on inward beauty only. The development of mind, soul and spirit came second to physical attraction.
Thousands of years before a young Jewish girl named Esther won her own beauty pageant. For her beauty and grace earned her the title of queen and an honored place in her husband's palace. Yet, when she was faced with a choice of losing all of it, including her life, in order to help save her people, Esther knew she had only on choice. She had to speak up, no matter what the consequences. Her courage and willingness to serve others saved God's people. Esther was more than just another queen, she was God's woman.
What a shame that as a people we don't promote these things rather than physical beauty. Wouldn't it be refreshing to see ladies regardless of body type or looks competing for who can be the most willing to serve and sacrifice for God and humanity? That is where the real beauty lies. Time is not kind to physical beauty and acculades fade, but those acts of sacrifice and service have an eternal timeline.
How do you overcome so great a bombardment of brainwashing physical idealism? You have to have regular conversations with your children (boys as well as girls) about what is of value to God.
Sit with them as they watch TV shows or movies. Follow out scenarios to the destined conclusion. Help your children spot the tactics media uses to influence them. For instance, commercials geared for men's products invariably have some women, dressed sexy, draped over a handsome man. What message are they trying to convey? If you buy my product you will have gorgeous women chasing you and you will be as popular as this man appears to be. It is all manipulation.
Help them develop a worldview where they can spot the agenda in TV shows, movies, billboards, commercials, etc. We have to give them ammunition in their own mind to defend against the messages they will receive and struggle to fight off.
You have to spend the time showing them what God values. Introduce them to the great men and women of the Bible. Help them see that beauty is insignificant. This can be especially hard for those children who are classified as beautiful and popular by their peers. It is an intoxicating distraction from soulful, spiritual growth.
I pray that you will all seek God daily as you interact with your children. You are their primary spiritual teacher. God will equip you with what you need each day. Blessings to you all.
Brenda
Our girls (and guys) today are overwhelmed by body image issues. How unfortunate that as a flegling Christian nation we didn't focus, early on, on inward beauty only. The development of mind, soul and spirit came second to physical attraction.
Thousands of years before a young Jewish girl named Esther won her own beauty pageant. For her beauty and grace earned her the title of queen and an honored place in her husband's palace. Yet, when she was faced with a choice of losing all of it, including her life, in order to help save her people, Esther knew she had only on choice. She had to speak up, no matter what the consequences. Her courage and willingness to serve others saved God's people. Esther was more than just another queen, she was God's woman.
What a shame that as a people we don't promote these things rather than physical beauty. Wouldn't it be refreshing to see ladies regardless of body type or looks competing for who can be the most willing to serve and sacrifice for God and humanity? That is where the real beauty lies. Time is not kind to physical beauty and acculades fade, but those acts of sacrifice and service have an eternal timeline.
How do you overcome so great a bombardment of brainwashing physical idealism? You have to have regular conversations with your children (boys as well as girls) about what is of value to God.
Sit with them as they watch TV shows or movies. Follow out scenarios to the destined conclusion. Help your children spot the tactics media uses to influence them. For instance, commercials geared for men's products invariably have some women, dressed sexy, draped over a handsome man. What message are they trying to convey? If you buy my product you will have gorgeous women chasing you and you will be as popular as this man appears to be. It is all manipulation.
Help them develop a worldview where they can spot the agenda in TV shows, movies, billboards, commercials, etc. We have to give them ammunition in their own mind to defend against the messages they will receive and struggle to fight off.
You have to spend the time showing them what God values. Introduce them to the great men and women of the Bible. Help them see that beauty is insignificant. This can be especially hard for those children who are classified as beautiful and popular by their peers. It is an intoxicating distraction from soulful, spiritual growth.
I pray that you will all seek God daily as you interact with your children. You are their primary spiritual teacher. God will equip you with what you need each day. Blessings to you all.
Brenda
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
I'm Ready For My 2 Second Nose Shot
How does the Bible begin? With God ruling. How does the Bible end? With God ruling. God is the main character of history- everything began and everything will end with him ruling. Francis Chan says it like this in his book Crazy Love- if you were a character in God’s movie you would be an extra and all we would see of you in the movie would be 2 seconds of your nose. God is the central character of history around whom everything and everyone else revolves and when we put ourselves in his position as ruler, when we believe that our own desires should take precedence over his, we are committing idolatry. AMEN
Idolatry occurs when we choose to replace God on the throne of our lives with anything else by putting our hope and faith in that thing instead of God. Or it can be as innocent as prefering time doing something else besides what you know God desires and requires of you.
If your child complains about doing anything that has to do with growing closer to God (ie, reading the Bible, prayer, devotion time, church, small group time) ask them what they would rather do instead. Help them take the value of what they want to do out to its natural conclusion. For instance if they would rather play video games, daydream about them being able to play as much as they want. What does this create? They don't exercise - run that out to its conclusion, they don't interact with humans, then there is what they miss out on when they missed the teaching moments from God. What would happen if they choose the God thing over the video game? Scenario that out. You could easily draw from your own experiences about times you have learned something by your willingness to obey God that had God's perfect outcome.
Kids learn better when they are not in the heat of the moment. Don't wait to have this talk in the middle of the "Get ready for church" argument Sunday morning. Come up with a time when, as a family, you can play a make believe game. Find a way to have fun with it.
I would love to hear from creative people how they may have played this out. We can share with each other and find fun creative ways to share God's truth with our children. You can just comment on the faceboook post or put something on here.
Idolatry occurs when we choose to replace God on the throne of our lives with anything else by putting our hope and faith in that thing instead of God. Or it can be as innocent as prefering time doing something else besides what you know God desires and requires of you.
If your child complains about doing anything that has to do with growing closer to God (ie, reading the Bible, prayer, devotion time, church, small group time) ask them what they would rather do instead. Help them take the value of what they want to do out to its natural conclusion. For instance if they would rather play video games, daydream about them being able to play as much as they want. What does this create? They don't exercise - run that out to its conclusion, they don't interact with humans, then there is what they miss out on when they missed the teaching moments from God. What would happen if they choose the God thing over the video game? Scenario that out. You could easily draw from your own experiences about times you have learned something by your willingness to obey God that had God's perfect outcome.
Kids learn better when they are not in the heat of the moment. Don't wait to have this talk in the middle of the "Get ready for church" argument Sunday morning. Come up with a time when, as a family, you can play a make believe game. Find a way to have fun with it.
I would love to hear from creative people how they may have played this out. We can share with each other and find fun creative ways to share God's truth with our children. You can just comment on the faceboook post or put something on here.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Pop in' to a good attitude
Today in 1964 Mary Poppins began showing in American theaters. In that movie she is able to get the children to do unpleasant tasks by singing "A spoon full of sugar". She was basically helping them find a positive attitude when they didn't like something. Being negative about something only makes it feel worse and seem to drag on longer. What do you do when your kids grumble and complain. Help them find the silver lining angle and if there isn't one then read them this verse. God basically commands us to remain positive. He allows all things for our good. Make it a game. Each time an unpleasant situation arises find a positive angle. The first one to do it wins.
Phil 2:14 "Do everything without grumbling or arguing, :15 so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky,"
As a family look for moments in media when they see someone have a positive attitude. This also works in reverse. Children media is full of negative expressions by actors. Watch something together and talk about what they could do if they were in the same situation. Help them find a positive solution to it. Children are more receptive to new ideas when they are not in the heat of a difficult moment. These practice scenarios will come back to them.
As a family, watch the movie Pollyanna. It is a good clean movie that helps drive this point home and opens up the possiblity for further discussion.
Training our children in the way of the Word is a necessary deliberate act on our part. That doesn't mean we can't find fun ways to do it.
Enjoy your kids
Brenda
Phil 2:14 "Do everything without grumbling or arguing, :15 so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky,"
As a family look for moments in media when they see someone have a positive attitude. This also works in reverse. Children media is full of negative expressions by actors. Watch something together and talk about what they could do if they were in the same situation. Help them find a positive solution to it. Children are more receptive to new ideas when they are not in the heat of a difficult moment. These practice scenarios will come back to them.
As a family, watch the movie Pollyanna. It is a good clean movie that helps drive this point home and opens up the possiblity for further discussion.
Training our children in the way of the Word is a necessary deliberate act on our part. That doesn't mean we can't find fun ways to do it.
Enjoy your kids
Brenda
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Local Gardeners Needed!
http://youtu.be/xeTjQX94u4I
(Sorry it won't let me embed the video as an easy link)
Hello everyone,
This video is by an organization of people (EGM) that have committed their lives to helping children learn about the Lord around the world. They are the group that we are going to Romania to help.
This weekend we are starting back up our invitation to join Children's Ministries in sowing seeds in our children that will grow by the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit. With over 450 children each weekend and growing, we desperately need your help.
Please be part of sharing the wonder and love of Jesus with our children so they in turn can drop their seeds of faith on others some day.
We still need 74 volunteers to open all our classes. Thank you to the many that have already stepped up. You all will be blessed to have been part of these precious little one's journey with Jesus.
Brenda
(Sorry it won't let me embed the video as an easy link)
Hello everyone,
This video is by an organization of people (EGM) that have committed their lives to helping children learn about the Lord around the world. They are the group that we are going to Romania to help.
This weekend we are starting back up our invitation to join Children's Ministries in sowing seeds in our children that will grow by the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit. With over 450 children each weekend and growing, we desperately need your help.
Please be part of sharing the wonder and love of Jesus with our children so they in turn can drop their seeds of faith on others some day.
We still need 74 volunteers to open all our classes. Thank you to the many that have already stepped up. You all will be blessed to have been part of these precious little one's journey with Jesus.
Brenda
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