No Birthday, Christmas or Easter for you Young Man!!!

On this day in 1952, in the Peanuts comic strip, Lucy first held a football for Charlie Brown. We all know how that story ends. Lucy tells Charlie Brown to trust her that she will hold the ball while he kicks it. Everytime he does and everytime she moves the ball. She never kept her promise.

There is severe foundational fallout when we break our word to our children. If you declare a consequence that you do not follow through on or make a promise you do not keep, you are laying the groundwork for them to have future disregard for God's promises and consequences. Consider how key believing in God's promises is to your peace and faith. How often do you not do something for fear of God's chastisement? Fear of consequences is what keeps our society civil. Without it there is a disregard for authority and a dismissal of personal responsibility for behavior.

We have to be careful that as parents we don't fall into the trap of making idle threats. In Numbers 30:2 we are warned that we must follow through with our words. Think before your speak out against a behavior. (Prov 29:20) Think about 2 things: Can I follow through with the consequence, and is the consequence proportional to the bad behavior. Natural logical consequences are also more educational than arbitrary ones. For instance, if incesant TV watching is preventing a child from getting their homework or chores done then logically no TV is the consequence, instead of no dessert for a week. Both could be productive, but one is more logically linked to the problem than the other.

The same holds true for making a promise. Don't promise something to appease your child in the moment that you are not prepared to follow through on. We mustn't train our children to disregard our words. This later becomes the foundation of distrust for God's promises and consequences.

Saying what we mean is basically teaching our children that what we say should be trustworthy. People should be able to count on our word. The first thought out of them should be, "If she said she will do it I can count on it." Modeling being an honorable person that keeps your word/promises is the first step to teaching your child that important value.

While going through the week, listen to your children as they interact with you and others. Look for opportunities to correct them if they are promising something they can't keep. While following through with any promise or consequence, be sure to remind them of the importance of being trustworthy, that they will always be able to count on you to do what you say and tell them the truth.

Brenda

Promises - Trustworthiness

2 Samuel 7:28 "You are God! Your words are trustworthy" We know that we can count on everything the God says to be truth. He is trustworthy. His yes is yes and His no is no. How about you? As your child's primary teacher, what are they learning from you about keeping your word. Sometimes you may be tempted to promise something just to pacify your child for the moment, but if you don't follow through with what you have promised, you are teaching your child that you don't have to mean what you say. Be careful what you promise or threaten. You should be prepared to do it. The hardest thing I ever did was follow through on a promise/consequence that I had told my oldest son. He had a particularly bad year in school. He was goofing off and not applying himself. I told him that the family was going to go to a Las Vegas resort right after school got out and that he would not be able to go if his teachers didn't report improvement in his attitude and grades. Sure enough with tears streaming I drove away with my other kids and left him with his Dad. I wanted all of them with me. We had only taken a few vacations since the divorce and I really wanted some great memory making that summer. I remember meeting with his dad before I made my final decision. He said, "you have to do it. He earned and you have to follow through with what you said". (You would have to know him to understand how ironic this moment was for me) But, he was right. It wasn't about the performance in school anymore, it was about being true to my word. Think before you lay down a consequence. Be prepared to enforce it. If you promise to go to a game, go! Now things happen beyond our control and children need to learn that also. If you don't make it to the afore mentioned game because the car broke or whatever, use this as a teachable moment. Children need to learn that not everything is within our control and that God is ultimately in control. All things work together for good, even missed games. Live with integrity, be trustworthy, be ready for teachable moments. WHAT A RIDE! PARENTING!