Thursday, October 7, 2010

Inside Out or Outside In

Hello Dear Families,
All parents long for their children to establish convictions that will carry them through tough times. Sometimes those convictions help them control their emotions. Other times, that internal foundation helps them do what’s right when others are tempting them to do wrong.

Responsibility, in part, is staying true to personal values even when no one is watching. Convictions are formed in the heart. When Jeremiah described the new covenant God will establish, he wrote that it will be different from the stone tablets of the old covenant. God said, “I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts” (Jeremiah 31:33).

One way to teach convictions to children is to use family rules. Rules are based on convictions. Rules are external prompters but convictions are internal prompters. The goal is to help children develop internal rules or convictions that will guide their behavior.

When you have discussions about rules, ask children if they can identify the convictions behind the rules. For example, one rule is that everyone comes to dinner whether they are hungry or not. Why? Because we have a conviction that meal times are social times, not just eating times.

Analyze rules with children to help identify the convictions behind the rules. This will helps kids to understand your values and even translate your convictions into new situations.


This parenting strategy comes from the video training program, Everyday Parents Can Raise Extraordinary Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

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Discussing the why behind the rules is a great way to help your child connect with the scriptures. Most of what we ask our children to do is grounded in God's Word. Before you have this conversation with your children, make a list of the rules and find their foundation in the Word. When you have the talk with the kids you will have what you need for the discussion. Transferring responsibility over to your child and making sure they know they are not only accountable to you but to God as well, will help them internalize obedience.

(By the way, when you do this you may discover a few stupid rules with no merit that you adopted from your environment growning up. This is a good time to chuck it and explain why to your kids. Being human to your kids is modeling our need for a Savior.)

Remember, whether they like it or not, you are called to be faithful to carrying out Godly parenting to the best of your ability. There will be times when you come up short or even fail, but God can work with that too.

Bless you all
Brenda