Waves of Worry or Peace Like a River

Hello Dear Families
I am a pretty peaceful person. I tend to live in the today and rarely worry, as my close friends can attest too. However, there are times when I worry about my kids. Is that okay? Is that an understandable and acceptable state of mind with God? The human side of me would be the first to say, "Oh that is normal, it goes with the territory." However, the Word of God says something different. Philippians 4:6 says "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God."

It doesn't say be anxious for nothing except your kids, or your parenting failures, or their failures. It says be anxious for nothing!

What do you do then when you are hit with a wave of worry for your child? Well the answer lies in the second half of the verse. ("but in Everything by prayer and supplication")Supplication means : 1.To ask for humbly or earnestly, as by praying; 2.To make a humble entreaty to; beseech. That is where those intense emotions of fear, worry and anxiety go. They need to poured out in our prayers to God on behalf of our child. We need to recognize that God's original design for us as parents was not to live in our worry. He does not bring the fear. He gives us a way out. The words earnestly, entreaty and beseech in the definition of this word share the intensity of our state of mind when we are doing the praying. We can't stop the waves of worry. We can Biblically handle them with God's help.

The interesting part of this verse in Philippians ends with "with thanksgiving". So not only are we not to claim the fear and worry as normal and acceptable, we are to take it with all its waves of intensity and give it over to the Lord, knowing that He will hear us and answer our prayer. Be thankful for His perfect will in your life and the lives of your children, even when trial comes. In James 1:2-4 we learn that all things, even trials, come together to perfect us and our children. Count is all JOY.

Now I know this is easier said then done, but what choice do we have? Fear and anxiety rob us of our sound mind and leads us to poor thinking and irrational actions. If we are going to win the battle of the spiritual forces against us and our children, then we need to be armed for that battle with God. Matthew 6:24-34 talks about how little we can actually control in our life, but more beautifully, it speaks to the tender loving kindness of our God who will provide for us all that we need. The sooner we accept this the sooner we will find peace that only comes from releasing and surrendering wholly to God. He loves your kids more than you do. He has the hairs on their head counted. Allow Him to work out His plan for them. Now I say this as someone who continues to have to lay this back down at the altar of God. Join me in releasing our worry, fear and anxiety over to our Lord.

May the peace that surpasses all human understanding be with you today.
Brenda

Don't Hug me: Do the Dishes!

Good Morning and welcome to the beginning of a new week.

Every day we wake up and face the tasks and chores ahead of us. We will interact with our children dozens and dozens of times today. What language are you speaking. I know, that sounds like a stupid question, but it isn't. Gary Chapman wrote a few books on the 5 Languages of Love. He helped us to take a step back and assess how others feel loved.

Feeling loved is one of the most essential and primal needs we humans have. We know what works for us but do other people in your family know what your love language is? The following are the 5 Love Languages. Determine what yours is, as well as, each member of your family. Have a family meeting and make sure everyone knows what the other's love language is. Make it a family project to show love to each member of the family using their love language. What a difference it will make in how everyone feels. It works. Give it a try.

The five different love languages are:

Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

For more on Gary Chapman's Books go to: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ He also has an assessment tool on his page to help you figure out your own love language.

Here is a link that gives suggestions on how to express each love language to children of different ages. At the bottom left of the page are the links for each love language and suggestions.
http://www.parentingideas.org/articles/behavior/why-i-chose-the-five-love-languages/


Enjoy your family today. Love them with the love that only can come from God.
Blessings
Brenda

Commenting

I have had a few of you email that you want to leave comments but don't know how. All you have to do is click on 'Sign In'. This will prompt you to put in an email address and password. Put what email address you want to use and make a password. You can click the remember me button and then the 'Sign in' button. Once you click on this it will ask you a few more questions and then you are signed into the blog as a user. At this point you can go back to the blog and click on 'Comment' and you will be able to leave comments for everyone to respond to or read.

I look forward to all the wisdom and experience you all will share and we endeavor to raise our children in the Lord together.

Blessings
Brenda

Check your attitude at the door

Is your home a sanctuary or a battlefield? No matter what is going on in your family's world on the outside, once they walk through the door of your house there should be an understanding that this is a safe place. Help your children learn to affirm and not tear down. Help them understand the feelings of others in the family by putting themselves in the other person's shoes, emotionally. For instance, when one family member says something hurtful to another, you can ask that person how they would feel if that was said to them the same way.

Help your child, and all your family, understand that once they walk through that door, they can expect to be safe, loved, and affirmed. Even correction can be done in such a way as to help a child learn without feeling threatened. Remaining calm in body language and tone when discussing an offense will help your child focus on the wrong done and not immediately go to the defensive.

As parents we are the rudder that steers the ship. What we model sets the tone for the environment. Now granted siblings will be siblings, and sin nature is a factor. Help your children learn to resolve issues through calm conversations and compromise. Time to cool off may be essential in getting to this end, but modeling is the key. Give them words and tone to use in their negotiations. Help them discover compromise and peace is the expectation of your home.

Now times will come where evil will get a foothold in your home. I have had all 4 of my children freaking out at once and it was more than normal and stronger than normal. You will sense that something has infiltrated your home. When this happens you MUST do a prayer walk. Walk through the floors of your home and pray. Send satan packing. At night when all your children are asleep, go into their rooms and lay your hands on them. Pray protection from evil. I promise you this works. Satan will not stay in a home where he is being expelled in the name of Jesus.

Rest assured that raising your children in this day and age is a spiritual battle of monumental proportions. You serve the winner of this battle. Call on Him and His power regularly to defeat him who seeks to destroy your family.

God will prevail.
Blessings to you all.
Brenda