Dictator to Diplomat....Which do you have?

Do you have a child that tries to control you, their brothers and sisters, friends, and even strangers? You propably have a future leader on your hands. This will be an asset to them later but raising a budding leader can be a real challenge.

Your budding leader must learn to be able to follow. They have to learn to listen to the desires and needs of others, work cooperatively as a team, submit when it is called for, and to follow other people's agendas sometimes.

Think about the leaders in your life. (bosses for instance) Do you want an unyeilding dictator or do you appreciate those in charge who listen to your view and value your input before making the decisions that need to be made. Your little leader isn't going to naturally become diplomatic. You have to help them along.

If your young leader is showing signs of being argumentative, demanding, or angry, don't just ignore it. Take time to address these weaknesses. You want to appreciate your child's gifts, but recognize that with those gifts they have the responsibility to use them wisely and fairly.

In my house I had 4 children and, unfortunately for me, they were all young budding leaders. As a single mom, not only was I outnumbered 4 to 1, but I was constantly at battle to be the one who was actually in charge. Debate was a well oiled machine around our home. Everyone could speak up.

Important TIP! If I could give you one pearl of wisdom from all that I endured on this subject it would be this... Expect obedience 1st and discuss 2nd! In our home we would talk things into the ground. Sometimes they would be convincing and a compromise would be struck, sometimes I just demanded they obey. However, the time it would take to get to obedience would be unnecessarily long. Repeat after me. "Obey 1st and then we will talk about it."

My 4 still each turned into self starting go-getters, but in different degrees have struggled with respect for authority. Oh to rewind the clock...

Anyway, little leaders will offer you some added challenges but raised properly they can become a powerful force for our Lord. If you are interested in diving into this subject deeper, I recommend you check out this sight. I went to a conference workshop with the creator of this website and curriculum and found it very helpful.

http://kidlead.com/default.aspx

Pray each day that God will give you the strength and wisdom you need to stand toe to toe with your little dictator, um I mean budding leader, and help the Lord mold him or her into the man or woman He will use for great things.

You can survive! Hang in there.
Brenda

And the winner is....

Yesterday was the anniversary of the 1st Miss America Beauty contest. (Started in 1921) In the beginning the goal was to represent the highest ideals, a combination of beauty, grace, intelligence, talented and civic minded. Through the years many of the winners did go on to champion causes successfully using their title to be heard, but at what price?

Our girls (and guys) today are overwhelmed by body image issues. How unfortunate that as a flegling Christian nation we didn't focus, early on, on inward beauty only. The development of mind, soul and spirit came second to physical attraction.

Thousands of years before a young Jewish girl named Esther won her own beauty pageant. For her beauty and grace earned her the title of queen and an honored place in her husband's palace. Yet, when she was faced with a choice of losing all of it, including her life, in order to help save her people, Esther knew she had only on choice. She had to speak up, no matter what the consequences. Her courage and willingness to serve others saved God's people. Esther was more than just another queen, she was God's woman.

What a shame that as a people we don't promote these things rather than physical beauty. Wouldn't it be refreshing to see ladies regardless of body type or looks competing for who can be the most willing to serve and sacrifice for God and humanity? That is where the real beauty lies. Time is not kind to physical beauty and acculades fade, but those acts of sacrifice and service have an eternal timeline.

How do you overcome so great a bombardment of brainwashing physical idealism? You have to have regular conversations with your children (boys as well as girls) about what is of value to God.

Sit with them as they watch TV shows or movies. Follow out scenarios to the destined conclusion. Help your children spot the tactics media uses to influence them. For instance, commercials geared for men's products invariably have some women, dressed sexy, draped over a handsome man. What message are they trying to convey? If you buy my product you will have gorgeous women chasing you and you will be as popular as this man appears to be. It is all manipulation.

Help them develop a worldview where they can spot the agenda in TV shows, movies, billboards, commercials, etc. We have to give them ammunition in their own mind to defend against the messages they will receive and struggle to fight off.

You have to spend the time showing them what God values. Introduce them to the great men and women of the Bible. Help them see that beauty is insignificant. This can be especially hard for those children who are classified as beautiful and popular by their peers. It is an intoxicating distraction from soulful, spiritual growth.

I pray that you will all seek God daily as you interact with your children. You are their primary spiritual teacher. God will equip you with what you need each day. Blessings to you all.
Brenda