Feelings

Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Kid's feelings are very real to them. Instead of saying, "Don't feel that way," or "You're alright", Let them know that you are a safe person who is genuinely concerned about how they feel. What may seem trivial or an over reaction to us may feel very large and real to them. To demean their big feelings is to make them assume they cannot trust you as a safe person or that they most be wrong about feelings they have. Neither is a healthy option. Give your child an opportunity to safely express anger, disappointment, sadness, frustration or any other feeling. Set boundaries. Disrespect, even when upset, is unacceptable. Younger kids need help labeling what they are experiencing inside. Tell them, "It seems to me like that made you very angry (or ....)." As you allow them to talk about what they feel and help them put words to it, they will be more open to you throughout the challenges they are sure to face. People who have an open, honest character tend to have closer relationships and are happier overall. They share with people they trust and are able to work through difficulties. You have a tremendous influence in developing this trait in your kids. Help them develop an openness they can carry throughout life. Home should be a safe haven from teasing, criticizing or being made fun of. Share some rules that you have enforced in your home to combat the normal tendency for siblings verbal and sometimes physically abuse to each other.