It's my day off and I'm sitting with my son at physical therapy. I thinking back to when he was a boy. When they were younger it was 4 to 1. Four of them all wanting my undivided attention. I created private opportunities to be alone with them. Eventually that turned into date night when I started stabalizing financially. In the begining it was park, beach, book or beach time.

It didn't have to cost a dime. They just wanted to be all mine for awhile.

Find a special time for each parent to celebrate each child. It will hugely impact their feelings of self worth.

By the way, now that they are all grown up they schedule date nights with me now. It is a beautful thing.

What are your kids worried about?

Children today are more stressed and worried then we were when we were kids. They face a world that has become far more evil and less reserved. The pressure to succeed is very strong. Many will quit trying or find release in rebellion.

Spend each day talking with your child about who they saw that day. What kind of interactions went on. How issues were handled. Help them think through, at a young age, ways to handle social situations where life directions begin.

Use TV shows and movies as an avenue to discuss examples that you can pick apart together. Ask them how they would feel in certain situations and what they could do to navigate them.

Use captive times wisely.(those times they are in the car or unable to escape) :)
Help them practice working through thoughts and issues. I promise you that they are talking to their friends about all the issues they see each day. Who do you want to be the source of information? You or them. Now granted they are going to talk to their friends anyway and their input will hold serious weight. That is why it is imperative for you to at least be included in the fact finding mission.

Help them realize the motives that peers may have in thier answers. Help them to discern what environment a friend may be in and how they could develop a different opinion than yours.

Talk Talk Talk then Listen Listen Listen.

It will pay off in the end.
Enjoy this day with your kids.
Brenda

Who is in control of your child?

How much of your behavior today will be controlled by others?

How reactionary are our children throughout the day? Talk with them (and yourself)about how much we let the actions of others control our emotions and responses.

Romans 12:17-21

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"says the Lord. On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

How hard it is sometimes to play this out in every day life. Talk with your child about who causes them problems. Talk about what happens and give them strategies to live out these verses. However, remember that children are literal creatures. Be careful that they understand that they are not to remain in situations that can harm them. Peace is not an excuse to allow bad behavior to go unchecked.

This is a challenging lesson for children. (and adults sometimes) Keep the communication flowing daily. Don't let "Fine" be every day's answer to "How was your day?". The more they talk the more you can disciple them to become spiritual champions.

Blessings throughout your day.
Brenda

He is my Refuge

How do we build confidence in our children? There will always be someone better, faster, or smarter then they are. It is okay to allow them the opportunity for challenges and competitions, but reward should be intrinsic. Challenge them to press on toward their own goals. Help them to focus on why they should improve and to improve to please God not others.

Psalm 46:1-2
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea," This verse tells us that when we are having trouble, God can be our confidence.

Remind them that God sees them through His eyes with love and not through the eyes of man. He loves them the way He created them. He has uniquely gifted them to set out and be part of His plan.

Remind your child as they experience each new challenge or fear, that God is right by their side to fill in where they lack and to guide and protect them. "If God is for me who can be against me."

Develop a habit of asking your child open-ended questions (ones they can't be answered with "Yes" or "No"). They will learn to share their feelings about fears and concerns they have. This gives you an opportunity to help them learn that their confidence is in the Lord.

Psalm 118:8
It is better to trust in the LORD,Than to put confidence in man.

Bless you all as you guide your children through this day.
Brenda

When Children Resist Instructions

I must confess that I have been so busy with other tasks that I have cheated and shared with you wisdom from parenting tips that come to me. I'm sure you don't mind. May you find this helpful.
Brenda


When Children Resist Instructions


When a child continually demonstrates resistance to instructions, then it's time to decide whether you need to emphasize relationship more or you need to discipline for a lack of responsiveness.

Sometimes we take our children for granted, order them around, and don't appreciate them enough. The result is children who tend to resist instructions. If that's the case in your family then it's time to show more love and emphasize the value of your relationships together.

On the other hand, some children resist instructions because of poor character. Training is work and some children need to learn how to demonstrate genuine responsiveness when someone wants to talk with them. If you ask your son to come help in the kitchen, and before you finish your instruction he's whining and complaining, then stop the process. You may have to postpone discipline for a time because you need to get the table set in order to stay on schedule, but don't just let it go.

After dinner, talk to your son and confront him about his poor attitude. Explain the importance of cooperation and that you're going to have him help you with dinner every evening for a while. Increasing the workload to give more opportunity to practice may be just the constructive consequence needed to build a cooperative attitude.
Kids want life to be easy. The reality is that life is hard. Cooperation is an essential character quality all children need and now’s the time to teach it.

For more on how to build a good Instruction Routine with your children, consider the Parenting is Heart Work Training Manuals and CDs. Lesson One outlines a five step Instruction Routine and helps you know how to teach it

Parents Stand with their Children before the Lord

There is much hype these days that parents have turned over the primary spiritual education of their children to the church. That may have been true in the recent past, but there is a huge mind shift happening in parents today. The church is supporting and encouraging them to be the primary teacher of their children. Churches only get a very small number of minutes with children each week. Parents have them for the many hours that they are not in school. You, as parents, are perfectly positioned to carry out,

Deuteronomy 11:18-20
Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates,

Rolling Hills Covenant Church Children's Ministries understand that our ministry is not just to your children, but to you. We want to be volunteers in your Children's Ministry. We are committed to providing you with tools and support to help you with the spiritual development of you child. We understand as a church that strong parents and families lead to stronger spiritual champions in your children.

Take advantage of the resources we have for you. Join marriage and parenting workshops and series. Come as a family to Bible Study during the week. Use the weekend lessons your children have learned as a spring board to go deeper with God as a family. We offer you a tool online that shares weekend lessons and enrichment suggestions you can do at home. http://tiny.cc/vdpOP

This January we will begin the Bible Institute on Tuesday nights. There will be several classes to choose from while your children attend LINKED. Consider making Tuesday night a night your family is committed to come together and grow in knowledge of the Lord.

We are excited about the change we see here at RHCC. So many families are committed to the spiritual development of their children and furthering their own walk. I am proud to be part of this church. You are standing with your children before the Lord.

Bless you all
Brenda

Getting a Response

Get a Response


Parents give instructions many times a day. The difference between a drill sergeant and a parent has to do with relationship. The way you give an instruction helps a lot. In fact, a little forethought can head off resistance before it starts.

In addition, we encourage parents to teach children to respond with, "Okay Mom," or "Okay Dad." This answer reveals three things. First, it shows that the child has heard what you said. How many times have you gone back to check up on an assignment only to hear the child say, "But I didn't hear you"? Some parents even teach their children to repeat the instruction back by saying, "I will…" and then fill in the blank. This helps clarify the instruction for both parent and child.

The second benefit of an answer is that it teaches the child to communicate the intent to follow through. One dad said, "I like it when my son says, 'Okay Dad,' because it shows me that he's going to do what I asked."

The third benefit of a response is that you can hear what kind of attitude your child has. If it's one of those, "Okaaay Mommm!" responses then you know that your child has an attitude problem. The response reveals some important things about a child's heart. Silence can mean too many things. A child may comply, while harboring anger, rebellion, resentment, or defiance.


Teaching children to answer after an instruction gives you a window into their hearts to see if they're responding well to the instruction. If not, a parent has the opportunity to help make some adjustments.

This tip was taken from the book, Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.


Brenda