Hi to all our great parents,
I just want to take a moment to remind you all that we have follow up activities for you to do at home to reinforce the weekend lessons. I have provided the link below for you to access it. Children learn more when they are exposed to the same concept over and over. Reinforce it throughout the week to drive the lesson into thier long term memory.
http://www.rollinghillscovenant.com/images/stories/documents/WL%20Sept%2009.pdf
Here is a funny lady that seems to understand the average day of a mom. Sit back and prepare to chuckle
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXgoJ0f5EsQ
Enjoy this Lord's day with your family. Cherish the moments you have with them before they are gone.
Blessings
Brenda
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
To all of us was given gifts by God. We were assigned a measure of faith: Romans 12:3; and spiritual gifts: Romans 12:6-8.
God has set us up to be able to teach and train our children according to His will. We start out unable to do it alone. We need Him and each other. Find your village to raise your children. Surround yourself with good people and a good church. God will raise your child according to His plan and despite you not being "super parent" .
Rest in His ability to fill in where you lack. Depending on and needing Him is where amazing things happen.
However, He does command we carry out Romans 12:9-19. Look it up. Live it, teach it to your kids. These are clearly expected of all of us despite our gifts..
It takes a village to raise a child. Let RHCC be part of your village. I am very excited about Tuesday nights at church. Check it out. We want to partner with you to help you raise a Godly child.
Blessing
Brenda
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Working Hard or Hardly Working
No I'm definitely not talking about the parents. Working hard is never hardly working with us. I am talking about your children. Now that they are heading back to school we enter the wonderful world of juggling chores and homework. UUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH! Wouldn't it be great if kids came wired to work hard and stick with something until it was finished. Here are some helpful tips from the people at Gospel Light publications.
* Break the task down into little bites. For example, when loading the dishwasher, divide the task into glasses, bowls, plates, silverware, etc. Teach your child to complete a small task and then say to himself/herself, "What's next?"
* Schedule breaks. Decide upfront at what points in the project you'll take 5 minute breaks. Use a timer. Just knowing that a break is coming can keep you working.
*Lighten the load by having someone join you in the task. It can make the project manageable and even fun. Make a game or contest out of it. Only play a favorite CD during unpleasant tasks to lighten the air.
*When the task is done, say, "Doesn't it feel good to complete a job?" Remind them next time how good if felt to finish the last job.
I know that there is a school of thought out there that goes the sticker chart route when trying to encourage self direction. Just a small warning: if you are giving rewards for accomplishing tasks (So many stickers gets you a treat, etc.), you will lose the progress when you stop the process. Instead, I would recommend focusing on internal reward. Help them feel good about themselves for their accomplishment. Remind them that God is pleased with them and that we should do our best to glorify Him. If they are only doing something to get something they will always need to be rewarded or they will quit.
I know those of you reading this have had many experiences with success and failure in this area. Share some of those with us so we can learn from each other. If you don't want to share in an open forum like this, feel free to email it to me and I will share your thoughts without identifying you.
Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."
Blessings
Brenda
* Break the task down into little bites. For example, when loading the dishwasher, divide the task into glasses, bowls, plates, silverware, etc. Teach your child to complete a small task and then say to himself/herself, "What's next?"
* Schedule breaks. Decide upfront at what points in the project you'll take 5 minute breaks. Use a timer. Just knowing that a break is coming can keep you working.
*Lighten the load by having someone join you in the task. It can make the project manageable and even fun. Make a game or contest out of it. Only play a favorite CD during unpleasant tasks to lighten the air.
*When the task is done, say, "Doesn't it feel good to complete a job?" Remind them next time how good if felt to finish the last job.
I know that there is a school of thought out there that goes the sticker chart route when trying to encourage self direction. Just a small warning: if you are giving rewards for accomplishing tasks (So many stickers gets you a treat, etc.), you will lose the progress when you stop the process. Instead, I would recommend focusing on internal reward. Help them feel good about themselves for their accomplishment. Remind them that God is pleased with them and that we should do our best to glorify Him. If they are only doing something to get something they will always need to be rewarded or they will quit.
I know those of you reading this have had many experiences with success and failure in this area. Share some of those with us so we can learn from each other. If you don't want to share in an open forum like this, feel free to email it to me and I will share your thoughts without identifying you.
Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."
Blessings
Brenda
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Free downloads
This is a great site for getting free materials to use in teaching your children about Biblical principals. Enjoy! Click on the link at the bottom right of this web page or click on the link listed here.
http://www.rose-publishing.com/client/client_pages/premiums/generic_landing.cfm
http://www.rose-publishing.com/client/client_pages/premiums/generic_landing.cfm
Make your own recipe
Lately, I have taken to creating my own recipes in the kitchen. You still have to follow basic rules, like you can add different ingredient to a chicken dish, but you still have to cook the meat through. Children are suppose to turn out with different 'flavors' or personalities. They may be human, and were raised by the same person, and have had the same Godly principals delivered to them, but everything else should be unique to who they are and who God has for them to become. There is no "one size fits all" formula.
Have you noticed that some strategies work on one child but not the other? It is okay to have a different response to different children. God made them unique. God does this with us. We may be sitting in the same sermon with 100's of people, but each will receive what they needed from the Lord. Sometimes it will be encouragement, sometimes reprimand, other times it might be enlightenment. God takes who we are and where we are in our development into consideration when He interacts with us. We need to do the same for our kids.
It is okay to have different approaches and consequences for different kids in the same house. Equity is not a requirement. Your children will complain if they see a different consequence to a sibling for the same offense. Hold your ground and do what is best for that child. I would send one child to their room for something, because it was torturous for him not to be in the middle of action. If I did that to one of my other sons he would love it. He loved being by himself in his room. I had to discover what he really valued and remove that. As a side note: what works today may not work later. Kids change. Change your tactics with them.
Talk to other parents, surround yourself with support and keep learning. God is ultimately in control and is raising those children through you. Do your best and God will take care of the rest.
Bless you for being willing to take the journey.
Brenda
Have you noticed that some strategies work on one child but not the other? It is okay to have a different response to different children. God made them unique. God does this with us. We may be sitting in the same sermon with 100's of people, but each will receive what they needed from the Lord. Sometimes it will be encouragement, sometimes reprimand, other times it might be enlightenment. God takes who we are and where we are in our development into consideration when He interacts with us. We need to do the same for our kids.
It is okay to have different approaches and consequences for different kids in the same house. Equity is not a requirement. Your children will complain if they see a different consequence to a sibling for the same offense. Hold your ground and do what is best for that child. I would send one child to their room for something, because it was torturous for him not to be in the middle of action. If I did that to one of my other sons he would love it. He loved being by himself in his room. I had to discover what he really valued and remove that. As a side note: what works today may not work later. Kids change. Change your tactics with them.
Talk to other parents, surround yourself with support and keep learning. God is ultimately in control and is raising those children through you. Do your best and God will take care of the rest.
Bless you for being willing to take the journey.
Brenda
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Forgiving can be a 4 letter word
How many of you know that when you make your child say sorry to someone after an offense, that they are actually thinking is "I'm NOT sorry!". Kids will say what they are made to say, but a heart of true forgiveness is a journey.
Forgiveness is a tough concept for even adults to handle, much less kids. However, as parents it is imperative that we do what we can to consistently share core virtues and values with our kids.
It is okay to have your real young ones say the words after they have wronged someone. However, it is important to intentionally teach them when you aren't in the heat of a moment. Use stuffed animals or dolls to have a fight. One says, "I'm sorry", and the other says, "I forgive you". Hand off the dolls to the child and have them reenact it. Of course, you can continuously share how God feels about forgiveness, love and compassion with them. (Mark 11:25-26; Colossians 3:13; Matthew 6:14-15 and many, many more)
As kids get older it is important to teach them understanding and compassion. Help them reflect on what has happened that needs forgiveness. If someone has wronged them that they need to forgive, help them to imagine what is happening in the other person's life. Now granted, sometimes it is just sin rearing its ugly head, but sometimes people act up because of trials and difficulties in their life. Help the child to try and think beyond themselves. Model this as well. For example: If someone is speeding and cuts you off, instead of getting angry at them, talk to your kids in the car about how that person may have just learned of a loved one at the hospital and isn't thinking clearly. They may come home angry about a bully at school. Share with them that perhaps something upsetting is happening at home that he doesn't know how to deal with. We must teach children to think of others with compassion. Lead your child in prayer for the one that has wronged them.
You can also help them act out stories or use paper cut outs to talk through great forgiveness stories in the Bible like Genesis 37-50(Joseph), and Luke 15:11-32(Prodical son).
Get them involved in community and missionary projects. This furthers their understanding of compassion and thinking of others over themselves.
Remind them that not forgiving is a sin. Ask them how they feel when someone does or doesn't forgive them. Remind them that God has forgiven them for so much. Remind them that an unforgiving heart grows angry.(Prov 10:12)
Sometimes, we are wronged by others who aren't sorry and don't care if you forgive them. In these cases it is time to teach our children that God is in control of all circumstances. They did what they could and have to leave the rest in His hands.
Wow, no wonder this is a tough lesson. There are so many facets to it. However, God is parenting with you. Pray during situations that He will guide you as you guide your kids. He has their development planned out. We are only called on to get in there and do it.
By the way, I forgive you if you don't comment on this blog. :) JK
Brenda
Forgiveness is a tough concept for even adults to handle, much less kids. However, as parents it is imperative that we do what we can to consistently share core virtues and values with our kids.
It is okay to have your real young ones say the words after they have wronged someone. However, it is important to intentionally teach them when you aren't in the heat of a moment. Use stuffed animals or dolls to have a fight. One says, "I'm sorry", and the other says, "I forgive you". Hand off the dolls to the child and have them reenact it. Of course, you can continuously share how God feels about forgiveness, love and compassion with them. (Mark 11:25-26; Colossians 3:13; Matthew 6:14-15 and many, many more)
As kids get older it is important to teach them understanding and compassion. Help them reflect on what has happened that needs forgiveness. If someone has wronged them that they need to forgive, help them to imagine what is happening in the other person's life. Now granted, sometimes it is just sin rearing its ugly head, but sometimes people act up because of trials and difficulties in their life. Help the child to try and think beyond themselves. Model this as well. For example: If someone is speeding and cuts you off, instead of getting angry at them, talk to your kids in the car about how that person may have just learned of a loved one at the hospital and isn't thinking clearly. They may come home angry about a bully at school. Share with them that perhaps something upsetting is happening at home that he doesn't know how to deal with. We must teach children to think of others with compassion. Lead your child in prayer for the one that has wronged them.
You can also help them act out stories or use paper cut outs to talk through great forgiveness stories in the Bible like Genesis 37-50(Joseph), and Luke 15:11-32(Prodical son).
Get them involved in community and missionary projects. This furthers their understanding of compassion and thinking of others over themselves.
Remind them that not forgiving is a sin. Ask them how they feel when someone does or doesn't forgive them. Remind them that God has forgiven them for so much. Remind them that an unforgiving heart grows angry.(Prov 10:12)
Sometimes, we are wronged by others who aren't sorry and don't care if you forgive them. In these cases it is time to teach our children that God is in control of all circumstances. They did what they could and have to leave the rest in His hands.
Wow, no wonder this is a tough lesson. There are so many facets to it. However, God is parenting with you. Pray during situations that He will guide you as you guide your kids. He has their development planned out. We are only called on to get in there and do it.
By the way, I forgive you if you don't comment on this blog. :) JK
Brenda
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Anger identifies a problem
This came in this morning to my email and I thought it was well worth sharing. You can sign up to receive these parenting tips to your email by going to: www.biblicalparenting.org
Use Anger to Spark Creativity
We say, "Anger is good for identifying problems but not good for solving them." Once you become aware of a problem, look for a more creative and productive way to solve it. When parents choose to reflect only anger, they limit themselves dramatically. Families benefit when they experiment with other emotional options as well.
Marilyn surprised her eight-year-old son after he put his feet on the table during dinner. She felt angry, but she chose to respond differently. "Do you know what the Bible says about beautiful feet?" she asked in a playful tone.
Expecting a harsh response the boy was shocked by his mother's question and curious about the answer. "No," he replied with question in his voice.
"The Bible says, 'Beautiful are the feet of them who bring good news.' Now I have some good news for you. Dessert is only served to those whose feet are under the table." Marilyn made her point and she didn't have to use anger to do it. During dessert, several minutes after the previous incident, she made a passing request, "Please don’t put your feet on this table."
Her son responded, "Okay."
This mom avoided what could have been an ugly scene by exercising some restraint on her anger and responding in a wise way. By stopping each time you feel angry and evaluating the situation, you can use anger to point out problems and then choose another strategy for your response.
This parenting tip comes from our book, Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids.
_____________________________________________________
One of the hardest things we can do as a parent is to not respond in anger. This only puts the child on the defense. Once in defensive mode no learning happens except how to be better at being defensive.
The part of this tip that makes me chuckle is the part where the child is suprised by the parent's response. Don't think for one moment your sweet little child is not capable of doing something just to get a rise out of you. There is a great deal of wisdom in not being predictable. Keeping relocating your buttons. It makes it harder for them to push them.
By the way, if you have a problem with anger, get help. It is one of the most destructive emotions for you and your children. Seek counseling or join Celebrate Recovery. Yes, Celebrate Recovery is for all problems that have a hold on you, not just addictions. There are currently some people in the RHCC Celebrate Recovery that are only there to work out their anger issues. They will understand where you are and where you need to be.
Use Anger to Spark Creativity
We say, "Anger is good for identifying problems but not good for solving them." Once you become aware of a problem, look for a more creative and productive way to solve it. When parents choose to reflect only anger, they limit themselves dramatically. Families benefit when they experiment with other emotional options as well.
Marilyn surprised her eight-year-old son after he put his feet on the table during dinner. She felt angry, but she chose to respond differently. "Do you know what the Bible says about beautiful feet?" she asked in a playful tone.
Expecting a harsh response the boy was shocked by his mother's question and curious about the answer. "No," he replied with question in his voice.
"The Bible says, 'Beautiful are the feet of them who bring good news.' Now I have some good news for you. Dessert is only served to those whose feet are under the table." Marilyn made her point and she didn't have to use anger to do it. During dessert, several minutes after the previous incident, she made a passing request, "Please don’t put your feet on this table."
Her son responded, "Okay."
This mom avoided what could have been an ugly scene by exercising some restraint on her anger and responding in a wise way. By stopping each time you feel angry and evaluating the situation, you can use anger to point out problems and then choose another strategy for your response.
This parenting tip comes from our book, Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids.
_____________________________________________________
One of the hardest things we can do as a parent is to not respond in anger. This only puts the child on the defense. Once in defensive mode no learning happens except how to be better at being defensive.
The part of this tip that makes me chuckle is the part where the child is suprised by the parent's response. Don't think for one moment your sweet little child is not capable of doing something just to get a rise out of you. There is a great deal of wisdom in not being predictable. Keeping relocating your buttons. It makes it harder for them to push them.
By the way, if you have a problem with anger, get help. It is one of the most destructive emotions for you and your children. Seek counseling or join Celebrate Recovery. Yes, Celebrate Recovery is for all problems that have a hold on you, not just addictions. There are currently some people in the RHCC Celebrate Recovery that are only there to work out their anger issues. They will understand where you are and where you need to be.
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