Make your own recipe

Lately, I have taken to creating my own recipes in the kitchen. You still have to follow basic rules, like you can add different ingredient to a chicken dish, but you still have to cook the meat through. Children are suppose to turn out with different 'flavors' or personalities. They may be human, and were raised by the same person, and have had the same Godly principals delivered to them, but everything else should be unique to who they are and who God has for them to become. There is no "one size fits all" formula.

Have you noticed that some strategies work on one child but not the other? It is okay to have a different response to different children. God made them unique. God does this with us. We may be sitting in the same sermon with 100's of people, but each will receive what they needed from the Lord. Sometimes it will be encouragement, sometimes reprimand, other times it might be enlightenment. God takes who we are and where we are in our development into consideration when He interacts with us. We need to do the same for our kids.

It is okay to have different approaches and consequences for different kids in the same house. Equity is not a requirement. Your children will complain if they see a different consequence to a sibling for the same offense. Hold your ground and do what is best for that child. I would send one child to their room for something, because it was torturous for him not to be in the middle of action. If I did that to one of my other sons he would love it. He loved being by himself in his room. I had to discover what he really valued and remove that. As a side note: what works today may not work later. Kids change. Change your tactics with them.

Talk to other parents, surround yourself with support and keep learning. God is ultimately in control and is raising those children through you. Do your best and God will take care of the rest.

Bless you for being willing to take the journey.
Brenda